


Rules of the Game

by Pony Girl (Jackjunkie)



Category: Adventures of Brisco County Jr., Alias Smith and Jones
Genre: Action/Adventure, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-30
Updated: 2012-10-30
Packaged: 2017-11-17 08:44:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/549711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jackjunkie/pseuds/Pony%20Girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Heyes and Curry play poker with a couple of bounty hunters with a talented horse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rules of the Game

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published in the zine Just You, Me and the Governor #14

Hannibal Heyes knew poker. He knew the tearing sound of a seal breaking on a fresh deck, the slick feel of the cards as they shuffled through his hands, the musky smell of winning and losing, camaraderie and tension, elation and boredom that could permeate the game. He knew the rules of the game and he knew one of the prime rules was that it was as important to play the other players as to play the cards.

The player seated on his right he already knew as well as he knew himself - better, most likely. He’d played enough poker with his partner, Kid Curry, to be able to play the Kid’s hand for him as the Kid would play it - which was never the way Heyes would play it himself, but he could never seem to transfer his own considerable skill in the game to his friend, no matter how much he tried. There must be something innate, some instinct he had, that just couldn’t be taught. Or maybe it was simply his passion for the game that enabled him to play at a higher level. Whatever it was, it gave him enough of an advantage to win fairly easily over the average poker player.

He appeared to be facing three pretty average players at the table right now. He didn’t believe they would present much of a challenge.

To his left was a large man with a droopy mustache. A very uneven gamester, he persisted in taking chances any real gambler would know better than to risk. This introduced a random element into the game, as it occasionally paid off in his winning a big pot. However, in the long run he would end up losing far more. Heyes had the patience to wait him out.

The other two were careful players, level-headed and not apt to take risks. Their playing style was transparent to a seasoned player like Heyes. They wouldn’t lose big, but they wouldn’t win big either. They did have one tactical advantage, however, that might throw him off his game if he wasn’t careful. They were bounty hunters.

This interesting tidbit was revealed in answer to an amiable question from the Kid, who was now doing his best to look unconcerned. Actually he was succeeding quite well, in Heyes’ opinion. One skill of this game Curry did possess was a good poker face.

Heyes knew any bounty hunters concerned them intimately, but there was no indication that these two had taken them for any more than just a couple of drifters passing some time in a saloon. The $20,000 reward for Heyes and Curry was far more than they’d ever manage to collect in this card game, so surely they’d have taken them into custody by now if they’d recognized the wanted bank and train robbers. On the contrary, Heyes thought they seemed far more interested in Droopy Mustache. The fellow certainly looked disreputable enough to be outside the law, although the former leader of the Devil’s Hole Gang had found it unwise to make judgments like that based solely on appearance. In any case, he saw no real reason to panic and leave the game. He and Curry could ill afford to give up on winning some fairly easy money right now. He’d just play close to the vest and attract as little attention as possible.

The pile of cash in front of him grew slowly. He lost often enough that his little run of luck didn’t get anybody riled up or thinking he was some kind of card sharp. The game settled into a comfortable pattern.

After a while Curry admitted it was not his night. Throwing in his cards, he wandered over to the bar to collect another drink.

Droopy won a pot on another one of his unexpected plunges.

Heyes grimaced inwardly as a sum of his money was scooped across the table and the next hand was dealt, but he wasn’t really worried. He’d win it back. He picked up his cards. Maybe on this very hand.

The very tall, black bounty hunter, colorfully dressed in cavalry pants and a long coat, placed his bet.

Heyes proposed a modest raise, which Droopy Mustache called.

The second bounty hunter, more conservatively dressed than his partner in a tan jacket and pants, considered his cards, an intent look on his angular face beneath close-cropped, dark hair. He expressed a desire to raise, but confessed he was all tapped out.

“Tough luck,” Droopy declared. “This is a cash game.”

“A lot of that’s cash I lost. You gotta give me a chance to win some of it back,” the bounty hunter objected. “I’m good for it. Tell him.”

“He’s good for it,” his partner gruffly obliged.

“No IOU’s,” Droopy growled. “Put up or shut up.”

“But I can’t fold now. Not with this hand.” The man thought a moment. “What if I bet something besides money?”

“Depends. What you got?” Droopy asked suspiciously.

“Good question. What have I got that’s worth betting?” The man ruminatively rubbed his darkly-stubbled chin.

“Got a horse,” drawled his partner.

“My horse! I can’t bet my horse!”

“Might be interested in a horse,” Droopy conceded. “Iffen it’s a good one.”

“Oh, he’s a fine horse,” the fancy dresser said. “Real smart, too. Plays chess. Even opened a safe once.”

“A horse that opened a safe?” Heyes’ ears perked up at that. Sounded like his kind of animal.

“Some folks and I got locked in a bank safe when I was on the trail of bank robber Ned Zed,” the horse’s owner elaborated. “We had the combination so I just called it to my horse on the other side of the door and he was able to open it and free us.”

“That’s amazing,” Heyes said admiringly.

“Not that amazing,” countered the bounty hunter. “It took him two tries.”

“Sounds like a horse worth bettin’ on. I’ll accept ‘im in place of cash,” Droopy said.

“No, I won’t risk my horse,” was the stubborn reply.

“If your hand’s as good as you think, won’t be no risk,” advised his partner.

The only answer to that was a mulish look.

“Then fold,” counseled Droopy, apparently getting bored with the argument, “but make up your mind.”

“How about loaning the horse?” asked Heyes.

“What?” The mulish expression was replaced by a confused one.

“You don’t want to give up your horse,” Heyes clarified, “but how about loaning him out for, oh, say a week? That ought to be worth a bet.”

The bounty hunter thought it over. “That sounds all right,” he said at last reluctantly. “I’ll bet the loan of my horse for one week. Then I get him back. That’s if I lose, which I probably won’t, since these are very good cards.” By the end of his speech, he had talked himself into smiling again.

The others nodded agreement. The bet was accepted.

“I don’t have enough left to call that,” his partner said, laying down his cards. “I fold.”

Heyes examined his own hand. It was a very good hand. He sure would like to own a safe-opening horse, even temporarily. Not that he necessarily believed a word of it. But he was definitely intrigued. He glanced at his depleted pile of cash. He also had an idea.

“I can’t cover that bet,” he said, “with cash. But if we’re betting on loans, how about I loan out my partner for a week?”

“Your partner? What’d we do with him?” scoffed Droopy.

“Put him to work! Just think, you could have a jack of all trades to fetch and carry, cook and clean, do your chores, run your errands, whatever you want for a whole week while you get waited on like a gentleman. That oughta be worth about the same as the horse, don’t ya think?” Heyes smiled persuasively, confident enough in his cards and his skill that he wasn’t really risking the Kid’s time. That bounty hunter was probably bluffing. Anyhow, if he lost, he could always win Curry back or maybe they could buy him out of the deal later.

Droopy’s mouth fell open and his eyes took on a glazed aspect as he considered the prospect of a life of leisure.

“Er, shouldn’t you ask your partner about it first?” suggested the bounty hunter.

“Oh, it’ll be okay. He listens to me,” Heyes breezily assured them.

They accepted his terms.

“Don’t have no horse nor partner to bet,” Droopy said when it came his turn, pushing the money in front of him into the pot.

“Not enough,” the bounty hunter shook his head. “Not for my horse.”

Droopy eyed him and then eyed his cards. He chewed on his mustache for a bit. At last he reached deep into a pocket and pulled out a thick wad of bills, which he threw onto the worn green felt. “That’s enough to call,” he said confidently and then laid down his cards, a straight. “And I’ll bet that’s enough to win.”

“You lose,” the bounty hunter said, laying down a flush. Lifting a bill from the wad and holding it up to the light, he continued, “And that’s not all you lose.” He snapped the bill in his fingers. “Michael Maguire, you’re under arrest for counterfeiting.”

“What?! Why you dirty...” Droopy jumped up, knocking over his chair, which clattered to the floor. Before he could wield his clenched fists, however, the black bounty hunter was behind him, grabbing his arms in an iron-firm grip while his partner drew his gun.

“I wouldn’t try anything.” The gun pointed steadily at Droopy’s midsection. “I’m Brisco County, Jr. and this is Lord Bowler, and this money is all the evidence we need to take you into custody.”

County! Heyes swallowed nervously. Brisco County, Sr. had been a legendary lawman before his death and Heyes had heard a tale or two about the son, too. He’d wager his amnesty on his ability to fool ordinary bounty hunters, but this one was extraordinary. Well, first things first, and right now Heyes had a poker game to finish.

As Lord Bowler efficiently tied up Maguire, County reholstered his gun. Snatching up the counterfeit money, he began to rake in the rest of the pot.

“Uh, not so fast,” Heyes said mildly. “I may have to resign myself to losing most of the pot as counterfeit, but I can still salvage what’s left of it. I believe this beats your flush.” He laid down a full house.

“It does? Yes, it does,” County slowly agreed. “Well, you’re welcome to what’s left. We were only in this game to, er, flush out the counterfeit currency and we accomplished that. We’ll be on our way.”

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Heyes inquired.

“What’s that?”

“A little matter of a horse.”

County paused. “I was hoping you wouldn’t hold me to that. As I told you, we were only doing this to catch a criminal. We had to get him to bet enough to pull out his counterfeit bills. I wouldn’t stake my horse just for a poker bet.”

“But you did,” Heyes told him gently. “I wasn’t part of your little scheme, and the game and the bet were genuine on my part.”

“This fella tryin’ to welsh on your bet, Joshua?” asked Curry, who’d come back to see what the ruckus was about.

Heyes shook his head warningly at his partner. All they needed was for Kid Curry to go showing off his fast draw to Brisco County, Jr. “Just a little misunderstanding.”

“He’s got you there, Brisco,” said Bowler with a wide grin. “You’re going to have to pay up.”

“But how can I? I mean, how am I going to tell Comet?”

“Comet?” asked the Kid in bewilderment.

“Mr. County’s horse,” Heyes explained. “I won him for a week.”

“I guess a bet’s a bet,” Brisco said grudgingly. “Come on, let’s get this over with.” He turned towards the door and Heyes followed.

“You’re two lucky fellows,” Bowler told the Kid as he pushed Maguire towards the door behind Heyes and Brisco.

“Joshua’s lucky to win the bet,” Curry agreed, “but why am I lucky?”

“You’re lucky your partner didn’t lose,” Bowler informed him, “because he bet you against the horse. Heh, heh, heh.”

Wincing as he heard Curry’s disbelieving shout of “Me?!” Heyes knew he was going to be hearing a lot more about this from his partner. He wasn’t so sure he was so lucky after all.

* * * * * * *

“I don’t see what you’re so upset about. I didn’t lose, did I?” Heyes was trying to be reasonable, but his partner was not cooperating.

“Yeah, but you coulda. I’d like a say in what kinda work I’m gonna do and who I’m gonna do it for. Next time you can just bet yourself and leave me out of it!”

“Fine! And next time I win, I’ll keep the winnings for myself, too, then.” He regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth, but it was too late to take them back.

“Fine! In fact, why don’t we start right now? Since you’re paying for this hotel room, you can have it all to yourself. I’ll find somewhere else to sleep.” Curry crammed his hat on his blond curls and picked up his jacket.

“Aw, Kid, don’t be like that. Where are you gonna go?”

“I’ll sleep in the livery with the horse if I have to. He’d be better company than I’ve got here!”

The door slammed as he stormed out.

Heyes sighed. Hopefully, the Kid’s disposition would improve after a night’s rest. He turned in.

* * * * * * *

“Here ya go, Comet. County said you were partial to green apples. I brought ya a couple.” Curry held them out on his palm.

The horse snuffled at them, then began to munch.

The Kid rubbed between Comet’s ears. “Bet in a poker game! Just as if I was no better ‘n a horse. No offense.” He grinned faintly at the animal. “You an’ me, we’re kind of in the same boat, ain’t we?”

Comet lapped the last bit of apple off Curry’s hand and nodded.

“It’s almost like you understand what I’m sayin’.” Opening the stall door, the Kid walked in and found a comfortable place to sit in the straw. “Well, they said you was smart. Play chess, I hear. I’m more of a checkers man myself.”

Comet turned to face the Kid and nudged his shoulder.

“In the mood for a game? All I’ve got’s this deck of cards.” He pulled it out of his shirt pocket and began to shuffle. “I’ve never been as good as Heyes, but I always liked poker - till tonight.” He began to lay out cards, face up, as if he were dealing two hands, for himself and the horse. He needed to talk this out with someone and the animal seemed to be a good listener. That’s what he needed right now, not someone to talk back at him with a silver tongue to twist things all around.

Comet nosed the cards.

“A horse that plays chess oughta be able to learn poker real easy,” Curry joked. That chess playing had to be some kind of trick of course, but that meant the animal might be able to pick up a card trick, too. “Course, I’m not the best teacher.”

Comet blew through his nose and shook his head.

Curry laughed. “Maybe we’ll make a good team at that. Okay, ya get five cards...”

* * * * * * *

“I’m tellin’ ya, I taught that horse to play poker,” Curry contended.

Heyes snorted. “Can’t be very good poker, considerin’ the teacher.”

“He was beating me before the night was over.”

“Ha-hah. That’s not saying much.”

“You’re just sore because I left you alone last night without anyone to talk to.”

“You spent the night talking to a horse!”

It was early morning and they were standing in front of the stable with Comet. Heyes had gone there to collect the horse and found that the Kid had made good on his threat to spend the night there. Somehow this annoyed him. He hadn’t really expected Curry not to wind up in a warm bed somewhere. Not that he felt guilty. It wasn’t his fault the Kid had left the hotel mad enough to swallow a horn-toad backwards.

Brisco County, Jr. and Lord Bowler approached up the street and hailed them.

“You know, Smith, I’ve been thinking,” Brisco proposed. “How’s about we go double or nothing?”

“How’s that?” Heyes asked, distracted from his argument and his uncomfortable thoughts.

“Another round of poker, double or nothing. You win, you get Comet for two weeks. I win, I get him back, along with a couple of weeks’ free labor.”

“I believe I’ll take that bet,” Heyes responded promptly.

“Long as that labor’s not mine,” Curry stated.

“Thaddeus,” Heyes coaxed.

“Bet your own work if you’ve a mind to, but I ain’t goin’ along with it.” Curry stood firm.

“All right.” Heyes turned to Brisco. “Two weeks of my work against two weeks of Comet. Why not?”

Comet gave the Kid a push in the center of his back. The blond looked at the horse and then back at the other men. “Uh, how about letting us in on a piece of this action?” he asked.

Heyes shot him a look from disbelieving brown eyes. “You and your, uh, student there think you can actually win a game against me, I mean us?”

“Student?” asked County.

“My friend taught your horse how to play poker last night. Or so he says.” Heyes’ tone was skeptical.

“Let ‘em into the game,” Bowler urged. “I want to see this.”

“I have to warn you, Comet, I’ve been playing a lot longer than one night, but if you want to take a chance, it’s fine with me,” County agreed.

Comet whinnied.

“You’ll have to come up with a stake to bet,” Heyes challenged them. He realized he must be falling under the others’ influence. He was talking to the horse, too.

“Oh, we’ll think of something,” the Kid mused.

* * * * * * *

“I want them boots shined up real good now,” the Kid instructed. “And the harness, too. We don’t want to look shabby.”

Heyes looked up and answered through gritted teeth. “Can’t have that. Shiny it is.” Clamping down on any further words before they escaped, he went back to swiping a rag across the boot he was holding.

The Kid crossed his ankles on the porch railing and leaned back in his chair. “I’ll take another beer,” he instructed Brisco, “and one for my friend here.” He indicated Lord Bowler seated next to him.

“Two beers, right,” County answered, picking up the empty glasses and turning to go fetch the requested refills.

“And what’ll you have?” Curry called to the animal standing in front of the rail.

He was answered by a whinny.

“More green apples,” Brisco acknowledged. “Coming right up, Comet.”

“Look on the bright side, Brisco,” Bowler commented. “You got to stay with Comet for the two weeks. Heh, heh, heh.”

“Somehow this wasn’t quite what I had in mind,” Brisco replied.

“No, but who’d a thought Comet would win with a hand like that?” Bowler wondered.

“Nobody in his right mind would bet a hand like that,” Heyes complained. “Leave it to my partner to teach someone to draw to an inside straight.” He pondered the rules of the game, but there didn’t seem to be one for this circumstance. He’d played the human players all right, but he had no experience playing a horse. Maybe this situation called for going outside of the game.

“I’ll help you get those drinks,” Heyes offered, getting up and falling into step beside Brisco. When they were out of his partner’s earshot, Heyes muttered, “County, ask Comet what he’d bet on the chances of me making five pat hands from 25 cards dealt at random from a deck...”

THE END


End file.
